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Warning: Talk of rape and sexual assault.
I eventually reported the man who had assaulted me in 2024. I also know that it was also the year that a man who boasted about grabbing women by the pussy, was publicly accused of sexual misconduct by 27 women, and was found liable by a judge for rape was elected president. Once more. He probably even took home the popular vote. His behavior of women is not a deal breaker for millions of Americans.
I’ve alternated between crying and feeling numb this morning. For the first time in months, my trauma-related pain problems have gotten worse. The idea that my efforts and principles are pointless has come up many times. When so much of the world is ruthlessly unconcerned, if not applauding of women and survivors, why even try to advocate for them? You’re not alone if that’s where you are as well.
The Harris/Walz campaign slogan, “We are not going back,” is one that keeps coming up. There is no denying that a lot of things are going to get worse. However, it’s a term that at least gives me some comfort. I imagine myself before Trump, still recovering from trauma and silently passing away in my own loneliness and humiliation. I’ve changed since then. I refuse to return to silence.
In 2022, Tarana Burke, the founder of the #MeToo movement, wrote, “This movement has created visibility and community for those of us who thought we might go to our grave bearing a shame that was never ours to carry in the first place. This is more significant than any law that has been passed or policy that has been changed in the past five years.”
I’m thinking about my community today, the sisterhood of survivors who have never had to make excuses or minimize my suffering. I battled self-harm and harmful conduct for years. I’ve reached a stage in my recovery where I know I can’t give in to these kinds of things because I have to be strong for the people in my life who aren’t there yet. Recognizing the truth in the saying that I cannot consume poison and expect the other person to die is what it is to be strong, not to be stoic or uncaring.
Stay alive. Even if it’s out of spite, stay alive. Be present. People care about you, even if your country doesn’t.
— The Green Kasey 🎃 (@RawbertBeef) November 6, 2024
Other survivors should live, in my opinion. After Roe and after the election, it’s a difficult task. I’m writing this for everyone who is feeling overtaken and triggered by this news. Once more: You’re not by yourself. Given everything, it could be a cynical statement, but it’s true. Consider your loved ones, seek for help, and provide support in return. I’m going to a local (and free) group therapy session today and calling my pals who I know will benefit from it. If you can’t, know that even though I’m a complete stranger, I want you to find love, healing, and light. The community and visibility that Tarana described are still present.
all i can say is live. you have to live. if you’re trans, queer, a woman, bipoc, disabled, an immigrant: you must live. we have to support each other. we have to be visible and loud if and when we can. and above all else we have to live
— em ★ team tyler (@midwestmorph) November 6, 2024
The battle goes on. We’re not going back.
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